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My Husband is the Biggest Ham You’ll Ever Meat

seafood restaurant picSo, about two weeks ago, Michael and I decided to have fish for supper. We found this little place called Clear Springs Seafood, and chowed down on some excellent fried onions, mushrooms, fish, crawdadds with all the fixin’s.

What got us really rolling, however, wasn’t the food (although after we got done eating we needed a wheel barrow to roll ourselves out of there). It was their sign, which said, “catfish seafood steaks.”

Now, the sign clearly needed some commas, but since I was cold and tired, I didn’t realize this. I thought they were serving catfish steaks, and wondered what exactly that would be?

That thought launched this list of animal-based puns.

cowsAnything that is not cow is a mistake.

Would you steak your reputation on it?

Depends on how high the steaks are raised.

Be careful what puns you use, I might steak you in the heart.

Don’t have a cow. I have no beef with you.

deerThis looks like a poultry list of puns to me.

You can tell puns until your horse.

There’s mutton butter than a few puns.

Oh deer.

Tell me venison.

I don’t want the post to be too shrimpy, but I don’t want it to have a pork belly either.

Funny what you can think of when your pigging out.

black pigI never sausage a thing.

Some of these jokes may be a bit fishy to you.

I don’t know if you have the chops to hear it.

I hope I can tell enough jokes to keep your blog abreast.

I have a leg up. The thigh’s the limit.

Don’t be too sheepish to reply.

Some of you might think I’m looking these up on line but that’s a load of bull.

Do you like me with a full beard or a goatee? I had to worm that one in somehow.

mushroomAnd bonus pun, because my husband is such a fungi: there’s not going to be mush room in my stomach after this.


Did I miss any? Let me know! And please join me next week for, “


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