My life this week has been consumed with three things: one, trying to get book two ready to be written. Two, finding and getting an appointment with a doctor about my legs. And three, trying to stay upbeat and productive when I hurt and don’t have a lick of energy.
I’ve succeeded with the first. Book two is ready to be written. Just as soon as I can get around to it.
I’ve can’t say whether or not I’ve been successful with the third. I’ve gotten everything that had to get done, done. And I’ve slogged through the evenings, when my depression and energy are at its lowest. If that meant I got a few hours extra sleep, that’s fine. But I look forward to sunny skies and having lots of energy again.
However, I can say, without a doubt, I have finally got an appointment with a doctor to see what is wrong with my legs. It was one of the most uncomfortable things I’ve ever done. I can’t tell you how much I did not want to go find a doctor. Forget about the impending bills, the doom-laden future my imagination paints, or the indignity of having a body that doesn’t want to cooperate with you.
I just hate having to figure out how to do something new and uncomfortable. And I really also hate having to call someone who’s not among my friends, family or acquaintances. For whatever reason, the idea of having to call someone I don’t know and have no experience with just gives me with the willies. The fact that I finally did it should tell you something.
How much do I hate it? Well, I came up with a list of things I’d rather have done instead.
What I’d rather do instead of calling the doctor
- Total my car. I’ve done it twice in my life. I lived through it.
- Plan my wedding. As stressful as that was, I think this is more.
- Live with my hurting legs. Who knows if this is a problem that can actually be solved? I’d rather just live with them than go through this kind of stress.
- Walk to Arkansas. Okay, maybe just to my mother-in-law. She lives about 15 miles away. It would be torture, but infinitely less stressful.
- Go to the dentist. Some would consider that stressful. I don’t. Even though I’d have to find a dentist first before I can go there, dentists hold no fear for me.
- Get my hair cut. I find looking for a stylist almost as stressful as finding a doctor, but I’d rather just walk into a random beauty parlor and get a bad haircut. My hair will grow back.
- Go to the gym and lose 20 pounds. Wait, I did do that.
- Go through labor. I’m not pregnant and have never been, but I’m pretty sure I’d rather have that baby than find a doctor.
So? What is that one thing you absolutely hate to do? What would you rather do instead of it?